I don’t think that a man needs to fall down at MY feet in order to be worthy of goodness and happiness. Don’t get me wrong there. There are very good men–extraordinary men–who didn’t look twice at me. There were very good men who showed interest who didn’t interest me back.
But then there came along a man who took one look at me and knew that I was it. I was The One. All he wanted was one chance with me, and slipped me his number twice before I used it. And ever after, he pursued. It didn’t take me long to feel the same way he did.
As a woman, I love being pursued because beyond love, it means that he values me. I’m worth the effort.
One morning, I read my husband a question someone had sent to an advice columnist asking if he should become seriously involved with a woman that he knew to be good, honest, sweet and truly wonderful, but whom he didn’t find to be particularly beautiful. My answer would have been a resounding YES! Of course, he should go for her. The man shouldn’t be so shallow.
But my husband said No. He shouldn’t, and I was horrified until he gave me his reason. He said that no woman should have to live her life with a man who didn’t think she was gorgeous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, he said, and if that man couldn’t see her beauty, then he had no business wasting her time because a man would come along who WOULD find her beautiful. And no man should waste his time with a woman he didn’t find beautiful, either. If he couldn’t see it, then she wasn’t the right one for him. Two good people can very well not belong together.
It was a very good point. I’m married to a man who thinks I’m stunning, and there is nothing more reassuring. If I was with someone who thought I was generally okay, but my personality made up for most of what I lacked appearance-wise… that’s just depressing! Even if I’m not considered conventionally beautiful, the one place I should feel beautiful is in my home.
So while I don’t think a man needs to fall down at my feet to be a worthy, wonderful man, he does if he’s the right man for me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have to put effort into the relationship, too, but pursuit… pursuit seems to be the universal language of love.
And when we pursue each other… that’s a love that lasts.