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There is no shame in admitting it. Some men are great in so many ways… but not worth the work. To you, at least. It takes a certain amount of humility to say, “He’s a wonderful man, but I don’t love him enough.”

When I was growing up, my mother put it to me this way: If your fiance were to get into a car accident and be paralyzed from the neck down, would you still want to marry him? Would you be cringing at the thought of a lifetime of caring for him, or would you be grateful that he wasn’t taken from you yet?


Love is easy with candlelit dinners, gifts in tiny boxes and financial comfort… but it gets a whole lot harder when life gets complicated. Maybe his material wealth makes him appealing, but what about if he lost every penny? Do you love him 100 lbs from now? Do you love him bankrupt? Do you love him through his cancer diagnosis? Do you love him through his depression?

And if the answer is No, then step down. It’s kinder to step away than to marry him for better but not for worse. It doesn’t make you a bad person to admit that you don’t love him enough.

Because there will be a woman who WILL love him enough… and there will be a man you’d be willing to walk through fire for. I think that kind of love is worth the wait.