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Romance readers are familiar with this idea–even if they haven’t used the phrase. The concept of being uniquely united with your partner is what makes it possible to read a hundred romance novels and still not be tired of them, because every relationship is utterly unique.

Wives talk. You get us together, loosen us up, and we start talking about our marriages. How did you meet? How long have you been married? And that opens the floodgates for all sorts of confidences. And every single couple has a different story, and a different connection.

I think the idea of being “uniquely united” is a healthy one. If you start comparing your relationship to the other couples around you, you might start getting frustrated. Why can’t your guy open doors for you like that? That couple goes out on regular dinner dates together… should you be doing that? Does it reflect on your satisfaction in your relationship that your Saturday nights consist of Netflix and Cheetos?


We’ve all learned that appearances can be deceiving. Seal and Heidi Klum renewed their vows every year for the seven years their marriage lasted. I remember thinking how deeply they must have loved each other–maybe Seal’s artistic temperament was capable of a more passionate devotion. I mean, “Kiss from a Rose…” that song brings on the feels! But no. He was quoted as saying that he didn’t really like the yearly vow renewals. They felt like a circus, and he was very private. But none of us knew that. That’s the thing–no one can really know what’s happening behind closed doors.

The things that connect you to your man are yours. No one else will share them, and no one else will entirely understand them. I think that’s the best part about a relationship–it can’t be replicated.

Uniquely united. You don’t have to be like anyone else! You just have to love him the best you can, and know that no one else can love him exactly like you do.