Once, when George and Amelia were still dating, George overheard Amelia telling a friend that George just had a naturally sporty physique. He was just built that way, she said.
The truth was, George had been working out privately for months before he had the courage to ask Amelia out, so his physique was far from something he was just born with. And he just couldn’t admit it to her!
So every morning, he locked himself in the bathroom (the only room with a locking door) and he lifted weights to maintain the “naturally sporty physique.”
That morning, George was lifting his weights when Amelia knocked on the bathroom door.
“George?” she called. “Are you okay? You sound… in pain.”
He sounded in pain? He was not in pain! He was lifting barbells… and that kind of hurt, in the manliest way.
“I’m okay!” George replied.
“Are you ill?” she asked. “Do you need some medicine?”
“No, no, I’m just fine,” George replied. “I just need a moment, Amelia.”
He heard Amelia’s footsteps going back down the hall.
“I’m making you some tea!” Amelia hollered. “Tea helps everything!”
Tea did help many ailments, but it didn’t make up for lifting weights, so while Amelia was off starting the kettle on the stove, George quickly did a few more reps with his weights. He had an image to maintain!
George and Amelia had a take out pizza picnic one evening, and Amelia was famished! She was hungry all the time lately. It was like she just couldn’t fill up!
“George, I read that a mother can tell if she’s having a boy or a girl based on the foods that she craves,” Amelia said.
“What do you crave for a boy?” George asked.
“Savory foods,” she said
“And for a girl?”
“Sweets.”
“Huh…” George looked at Amelia curiously. “But you seem to crave everything!”
Amelia’s chin trembled and tears welled in her eyes. She got up, brushed off her backside, and stomped back toward the house.
“What did I say?’ George called after her.
“You’re making fun of my appetite!” she called back. “It’s not nice!”
George pushed himself to his feet. “AMELIA, YOU ARE GROWING A WHOLE NEW FROG INSIDE OF YOU! IF ANYONE DESERVES TO EAT WHATEVER SHE WANTS, IT’S YOU!’
Amelia slowed.
“And I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, so long as it has webbed toes and a tail like God intended!” he concluded.
Amelia stopped.
“Now come back and finish your pizza,” George pleaded. “You need your strength.”
Amelia came back to the blanket and sat down in front of her plate. Whew! Crisis averted. But pregnant Amelia seemed to be very sensitive. George would have to remember that and be a little more careful in the future.
George had one item he’d kept from his days of carefree bachelorhood, and that was a little electric scooter called a Vespa. It was like a motorcycle, but it was smaller and slower, and wasn’t allowed on the highway, and it had been in George’s budget.
But when George married Amelia, he couldn’t quite bring himself to get rid of “the hog,” as he called it. He argued to himself that he might want to go out some evening and remind himself that he was still a carefree frog. But so far, the urge to go ride his Vespa without Amelia hadn’t struck him.
And truth be told? The Vespa hadn’t actually been all that rebellious. It had been fuel efficient and had a horn that sang the first couple of lines of “I’m a Little Tea Pot.” It had been painted sky blue. It didn’t inspire fear or respect in any other motorists.
So one day, George came home and he called Amelia on his cell phone.
“Look out the window!” he said.
“My goodness, George!” Amelia gasped. “Is that for us? But how did you pay for it?”
“I didn’t pay a cent!” George replied. “I traded in my Vespa for it.”
“Your Vespa?” Amelia sounded worried. “But you love your Vespa! I thought you never wanted to part with it. I thought it was very special to you. I would never ask you to sell your Vespa, George–“
“This is better!” George replied, cutting her off. “Come on down, and I’ll give you a ride!”
Besides, going out was so much more fun with Amelia along for the ride. He couldn’t help it. He’d grown up.
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❤
Patricia Johns 
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